By Dr. J. Allan Peterson, Better Families
Humanity is prone to a negative mental attitude. Society’s input is predominantly negative. Our conversations at home accentuate the negative. Research shows that for every one negative thing you say to a child, you must say four positive things to keep the balance. And yet, how quick all of us are to pick out and emphasize the flaws and failures, but how slow we are to praise. Behavioral researcher Shad Helmsletter concurs, “Most of the everyday suggestions in our society are extremely negative. Violent TV translates into a more violent culture. Sensationalism in the media toward immediate gratification may well have helped produce the almost immediate use of harmful drugs. A big-city newspaper agreed not to put any stories about violence on the front page for a year. During that period the rate of violence in that city dropped significantly! As soon as the stories reappeared on the front page, the violence rate jumped right back up to where it had been before. It is also calculated that in an average home from birth until a child reaches the late teen years, he has heard negative comments such as, ‘It can’t be done,’ ‘You shouldn’t do that,’ ‘It’s impossible’, 148,200 times.” Be careful what you say, it may come back to haunt you. A new study finds that if you describe someone as athletic, cruel, talented, or dishonest, the listener will often see you the same way. The researchers conducted a series of four studies among university students to demonstrate that communicators become associated with the traits they describe in others. Some 75 to 80 percent of the students unconsciously transferred traits to the communicators of the information. What we give out will come back to us. The finest gift we can give another human being is the gift of an excellent expectation. The principle “give and it shall be given unto you” applies to expressing appreciation, too.
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Quote of the day:
“If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather than dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.”--Barbara Bush Think about it: I read this story from Peter Story published in the Motivated Magazine that I thought was thought provoking about limiting beliefs. When I was a kid, I saw plenty of goldfish in the houses of my friends, and I remember wondering why so many people would want to keep such small, unexciting creatures as pets. Then one day, when I was about ten years old, I went on a school field trip to a botanical garden that had a pond stocked with fish. One especially large, brilliantly colored fish stood out to me. “What kind of fish is that one?” I asked our guide. “That’s a goldfish,” she replied. I was confused. “Aren’t goldfish supposed to be small?” I asked with a note of 9-year-old sarcasm. “Not at all,” she replied. “Goldfish will grow even larger than these. It really just depends on the size of their environment. They will stay small if kept in a small bowl but grow larger the bigger the area they have to swim in.” How often have I been like a goldfish in a fishbowl? How often have I limited myself and stunted my growth by keeping myself in a small bowl? And worse still, how many times have I put others in a small bowl in my mind? How many times have I written off someone as insignificant or unexciting? How many times have I failed to see others’ potential to grow? How much more could I achieve if I forgot my perceived limitations and dared to swim beyond the boundaries I’ve set for myself? And what would happen if I moved others from their small bowls into the ocean of limitless possibilities? –Adapted from the Motivated magazine. Just imagine a world full of people with that perspective, who truly believe that anything is possible and reach out to claim it. Together we could do astounding things. Quote of the day:
“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” —Amelia Earhart Reflection: As the following story illustrates, our limiting beliefs often make obstacles look bigger and more difficult than they actually are. An old farmer had plowed around a large rock in one of his fields for years. Several plowshares and a cultivator were broken on it, and he had grown rather tired of the rock. After breaking yet another plowshare, and remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it. He'd had enough! The farmer went to the shed to get some dynamite to blow the rock to smithereens. But when he put his pry bar under the rock, he was surprised that it lifted up so easily. Turns out that the rock, which had been such a huge obstacle all those years, was just a few inches thick, and that he could easily break it up with a sledgehammer. As he was carting away the pieces, the farmer had to smile, remembering all the trouble that the rock had caused him over the years, and how easy it would have been to get rid of it sooner. What had seemed so huge an obstacle was actually quite small when he was able to get a closer look at the problem. What sort of obstacles, or limiting beliefs are stopping you from making progress? Quote of the day:
“If you are not happy with your life, you can change it in two ways: either improve the conditions in which you live, or improve your inner spiritual state. The first is not always possible, but the second is.” —Leo Tolstoy Reflection: Limiting beliefs can often hold us back from living up to our full potential. Cass Daley wanted to be a singer, but she was very self-conscious because of her large mouth and buck teeth. When she began singing in nightclubs as a teenager, she tried to hide her buck teeth behind a down-stretched upper lip. The result was that she made herself look ridiculous. One night, a man heard her sing, recognized her exceptional talent, and wasn’t too shy to tell her the truth. “See here,” he said to her bluntly, “I’ve been watching your performance and I know what it is you’re trying to hide. You’re ashamed of your teeth.” Cass was embarrassed, but the man continued, “What of it? Is there any crime in having buck teeth? Don’t try to hide them. Flaunt them! The audience will love you when they see that you’re not ashamed. Besides, those teeth you’re trying to hide may make your fortune.” Cass Daley took his advice. From that time on, she opened her mouth wide and sang with such gusto and enjoyment that she became not only a successful singer, but also a film actress and comedienne. Limiting beliefs can stop us from living up to our full potential. It often causes us to worry about what other people might say or think about us, especially if we’ve heard it before or think it ourselves. Maybe we think we’re too tall or too short, or too fat or too thin, or ugly, or whatever. That was Cass Daley’s problem. She wanted to be a singer, but she was very self-conscious because of her large mouth and buck teeth. When we stop worrying about all the things we think others would like us to be, and instead are content with the way God made us, then we will stop worrying so much about the opinions of others. This will set us free to live up to our full potential. Is there a limiting belief that is stopping you from living up to your full potential? Quote of the day:
“My first language was shy. It’s only by having been thrust into the limelight that I have learned to cope with my shyness.” — Al Pacino Reflection: Limiting beliefs can often hold us back from living up to our full potential and must be fought with everything we have in us. Shyness is a result of listening to negative self-chatter and limiting beliefs and must be combated. Here’s an inspiring story of someone who overcame their shyness. The author and dramatist George Bernard Shaw is example of someone who overcame shyness, and he went on to become one of the wittiest, most outspoken public speakers of his time. When asked how he managed to change, he replied, “I did it the same way I learned to skate—by persistently making a fool of myself until I got used to it.” Finally he hit upon a way to conquer his shyness and fear. As a young man, Shaw was so timid he would often walk up and down a street for 20 minutes before he dared to knock on the door of someone with whom he wasn’t well acquainted. “Few men,” he confessed, “have suffered more from shyness and simple cowardice than I have—or have been more ashamed of it!” Determined to turn his weak point into his strongest asset, he joined a debating society. He also attended every meeting in London in which there was to be a public discussion, and forced himself to take part in the debate. With practice, his public speaking improved. Eventually George Bernard Shaw became one of the most confident and brilliant speakers of the early 20th century. Overcoming shyness isn’t just something you should do for yourself; it’s also part of being a contributing member of society. When you have a thought or idea that deserves to be heard, you’re not only hurting yourself by keeping quiet, you’re hurting the people around you. Others need you. They need your intelligence and insight. They need your help to work through problems. If you hide behind shyness, you limit the help you can give to your friends, family members, and colleagues. Fight your limiting beliefs and let your talents shine. Quote of the day:
“You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind.” –Author Unknown Reflection: When an elephant is born into captivity, the owner ties the animal to a tree or post with a thick chain to prevent the 250-pound infant from escaping. During the first few weeks of his life, the small elephant tests the chain that binds him, again and again, in an attempt to free himself and wander as his nature urges him to do. His efforts, however, are no match for steel links. Over the course of a few weeks, he eventually learns that his resources are no match for the hardiness of the chain. He gives up any further attempts to free himself, and thus relegates himself to a life within a small circle. As an adult elephant conditioned by a past experience, he can now be tethered to a small tree with the thinnest of ropes or, in some cases, no rope at all. He makes no attempts to wander because he carries with him, for life, the belief that he does not possess the power to break the ties that bind him. The adult elephant could easily snap the rope or uproot the tree to which it is attached, but he makes no such effort, because early in life, he was taught that true freedom was not available to him. For the remainder of his life, he is tame and nothing like the captivating, powerful creature he was born to be. Do you feel your life has been shackled by what you have been conditioned to believe? Break free from your limiting beliefs and live your full potential. Quote of the day:
“The soul is dyed by the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become.” — Heraclitus Reflection: There is an interesting story of one who became a writer of worldwide influence, who in her youth was said to be the homeliest girl in the town where she lived. There was not an attractive line in her face. The girl herself recognized the fact that she had no beauty, nothing in her features to win others to her, and with charming good sense and in an admirable spirit she resolved to overcome the physical disadvantage by making her life and her personality so beautiful that people would love her and be attracted to her in spite of her homeliness. So she began to cultivate the graces of kindliness, gentleness, and friendliness. She yielded her heart to the full sway of love. She became a minister of help, of cheer, of comfort, of joy, to all within her reach. Wherever there was sickness, care, trouble, need, or sorrow — she found her way, carrying the blessing of her kindly presence and the ministry of her gentle hands. She became known everywhere as a messenger of love. People forgot her homeliness, in the congenial warmth of her spirit. She was spoken of now, not as the homely girl, but as an angel of love in the community. Her face never grew beautiful and attractive in its physical features, but there was a light in it in later years which adorned its homeliness. Love is a wondrous beautifier. No matter what you look like, beautiful or unattractive, we can all take to heart the message in this story. Quote of the day:
“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” — Andre Gide Reflection: Before Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain into the vast unknown, it was believed that the world ended not far beyond Gibraltar. Indeed, this belief was expressed in the Spanish royal motto that read, “Ne Plus Ultra”, meaning "There is no more beyond here." But when Columbus returned from the New World, he had actually discovered new horizons. This made the royal motto meaningless, until Queen Isabella simply eliminated the first word. Thus the royal motto became, “Plus Ultra”, meaning "There is plenty more beyond." We may think there are no more "new frontiers" left to explore, but look around. They may not be geographical, they may be social, political or spiritual. Wherever there is a need, wherever there is hatred, poverty, prejudice, apathy, despair or hopelessness there is a new frontier to conquer. Yes, there is plenty more beyond! Don’t let your limiting beliefs, fear or short sightedness stop you from discovering what is beyond. |
AuthorThe goal of the blog is to provide interesting, motivational, soul feeding material. All to help remind us that God loves us all and wants a personal relationship with each of us and will take care of us in times of trouble. I aspire to be a force for good by providing you with positive input. I encourage you to share the blog with others. Archives
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