I have discovered that God is more interested in changing my heart than in changing my circumstances.
I still remember lying on my bed and praying for healing. There were two things I needed healing from: my recently diagnosed Parkinson’s disease and the terrible headache I had from quitting drinking coffee, which was part of my diet change. As I prayed desperately, I felt the headache leave me, but Parkinson’s did not. I got up to verify that. And it was so. My head was instantly back to normal, but my lack of coordination was still bothering me. I was surprised, but I couldn’t say that it was easier for God to heal a headache than Parkinson’s, though it might have looked like that. It would be absurd to claim that God needed more time to heal Parkinson’s just because it was a more serious ailment than an ordinary headache. Today, as I was doing something in the kitchen, an observation struck me. If I had had the level of difficulty with daily living that I have now, 12 years ago, I would simply have collapsed. The conclusion that I drew from this situation is that my circumstances changed me. Twelve years of suffering with a progressive sickness has made me more patient, understanding, and tolerant. I was reminded of Job in the Bible. There are various speculations, but the Bible doesn’t tell us how long his ordeal lasted. However, we see that Job was a different man by the end of his trials than he was at the beginning. If God had healed me from Parkinson’s at the same time as He took away that coffee headache, it would be highly unlikely I would have learned all that I needed to learn. The Lord left in place the circumstances that I need, so I can change under them. I didn’t like it back then, and I still don’t like it today. But He is God, and I’m not. I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s around 12 years ago. That is a long time for me, but not for Him. He is eternal and my earthly body is not. He did tell me, “I will restore your health.” (See Jeremiah 30:17.) He didn’t tell me when, just that He will. I am reminded of when my son was small and he came into the bathroom where I was shaving. He asked me for a shave. He asked for a razor. As a responsible father I couldn’t just hand him a razor and say, “Here, do it yourself.” But I didn’t just tell him “no” either. I said, “Wait until you grow up a bit.” I recall that happened around 12 years before he started to shave. That answer, “wait,” was hard for him to accept and even harder for him to imagine. Twelve years! He was four at that time. The Lord healed me from the headache, but regarding Parkinson’s, He said, “Wait!” But He didn’t just tell me to wait for no reason. There is something He is more concerned about than my circumstances. He is after my heart. My attitude. My character. After all, I won’t take my circumstances to heaven, but I will take with my heart, my attitude, and my character. As I was writing this, I remembered a Zambian friend of mine who commented on this time issue. He said, “You white men have watches. We Africans have time.” I could paraphrase that saying, “I have my character and I need to change, but God has time.” And He is never late. “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”—2 Peter 3:8–9 (ESV) -- Tommy Paluchowski
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AuthorThe goal of the blog is to provide interesting, motivational, soul feeding material. All to help remind us that God loves us all and wants a personal relationship with each of us and will take care of us in times of trouble. I aspire to be a force for good by providing you with positive input. I encourage you to share the blog with others. Archives
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