No matter what your situation, at some point you’ll have to deal with people. Whether it’s your friends and fellow students in high school or college, or the boss and colleagues of your job, learning how to make a good impression and communicate is a very important part of life.
If you have a hard time talking to strangers, you’re not alone! It may surprise you that many people face the same challenges, and many find ways to overcome their shyness! The former U.S. president, Teddy Roosevelt, was known for his charm and ability to make total strangers feel at ease. He admitted that he’d had a hard time with that at first and once said, “Everyone on earth is shy, self-conscious, and unsure of themselves. Everybody is timid about meeting strangers.” His advice to overcoming that gripping fear that we all get sometimes is to focus that first minute of meeting someone new on trying to make them feel comfortable. The result, he said, is that eventually you’ll feel less self-conscious. While that sounds like a high claim, Roosevelt’s advice makes a lot of sense. Rather than spending time worrying about what the stranger may think of you or wondering if you’ll “put your foot in your mouth,” you can instead occupy yourself with thinking of ways they may be feeling uneasy, and asking them questions about themselves to help put them at ease, and to help you get to know them better. Some people are naturally shy around strangers; however, other people are relatively fearless, because they don’t worry so much about what others think about them. While a sense of decorum and personal awareness is important, too much can cripple us. I often have to talk to groups of strangers and even crowds. Most people who know me now would laugh if I told them I was shy for many years, and that I still get that twinge in my stomach every now and then, and I just have to mentally push through. When meeting new people, I often have to remind myself that “strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.” Introducing myself and getting to know people is now much easier and less embarrassing. The one thing that does make me cringe is that awkward silence when first meeting someone, and I’ve found the easiest way to fill that silence is to ask people questions. In general, people like to tell you about themselves, so finding the right cues to ask appropriate questions can help to keep the conversation flowing. Hobbies, interests, work, mutual friends, and even movies or TV shows you enjoy can kick things off, and you might find something in common that will surprise you! Some people seem friendly and are easier to approach, while some appear rather “cool” and distant. And, unfortunately, there are some people in the world who aren’t very nice. If you made a step to greet someone and they stay aloof, don’t take it personally. In my experience, a lot of people come across like that only because they feel insecure themselves, and that appearance is a protective device. Unfortunately, this reaction can keep people away, but often all it takes for them to warm up and let their “nice side” show through is a person brave enough to approach them and show genuine interest in them. It’s a great feeling being that person! Some of the famous characters in the Bible also felt shy and insecure. Moses argued with God, repeatedly trying to find excuses, before finally agreeing to confront Pharaoh. He asked, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11). “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?” (Exodus 4:1). “I have never been eloquent … I am slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10). Finally, he told God, “Lord, please! Send anyone else” (Exodus 4:13). Only after the Lord told him He’d send Moses’ brother Aaron along to help did Moses agree to go and save the children of Israel. I don’t know about you, but I think you’d have to be pretty shy to argue with God Himself to try to get out of doing what He asked of you. So, for Moses to have gone from that to fearlessly facing Pharaoh and leading his people shows you just what God can do. Deuteronomy 34:12 says, “For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.”
As with anything, “practice makes perfect.” The more you put yourself in social settings where you have to face your fears, the easier it will get. Plus, always remember that you’re not alone. The Lord can help you have the confidence you need to face any situation—whether it’s addressing a crowd, going for a job interview, or making new friends. I’ll end this with a fitting verse from the Bible, which you might want to write down and read a few times before braving something daunting: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
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AuthorThe goal of the blog is to provide interesting, motivational, soul feeding material. All to help remind us that God loves us all and wants a personal relationship with each of us and will take care of us in times of trouble. I aspire to be a force for good by providing you with positive input. I encourage you to share the blog with others. Archives
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